"反模板":真 • 20考研英语作文打卡第三季(31)

"反模板":真 • 20考研英语作文打卡第三季(31)

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点击报名 | 朱伟、杨凡达主讲20《作文最后点题班》

新的一季打卡闪亮登场。在这一季打卡中,同学们需要用英语简短描述指定图片或图表。没错,就是写作实战。如果你认真练习了前两季打卡,造句能力应该有明显进步。所以把你们的成果体现在这一季打卡中吧。

★不要刻意模仿写作宝典中的版本。

【上一期打卡内容】

Directions:

Imagine that you are an English major who will soon graduate. Write a letter about 100 words to an international middle school to apply for a job. You should include any details which you think are necessary.

Do not use your own name in the letter. Use “Li Ming” instead.

<高分范文>

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to apply for the position of teaching assistant at your school.

As you can see from the enclosed resume, I’ve been assisting my mentor in correcting students’ assignments and collecting data required for his studies. I honestly feel a sense of satisfaction when engaging in these activities, especially when other praise me for my excellent service. I am very hard working and willing to accept your terms of working nine hours a day, six days a week and living on campus, so I think that I am suitable for the job.

I look forward to the opportunity to attend an interview at your earliest convenience.

Yours sincerely,

Li Ming

【来自学生的留言】

来自“20.”同学

To whom it may concern

I am writing here to recommend myself as a qualified candidate for teacher at your school.

As you see from the resume, I have gained all-round students, multiple scholarships and possess considerable internship experience. During the time I was an internship in your school, I realized the truth: A teacher"s duties extend beyond just teaching; they also include teaching students how to be a responsible and honest person. That is the reason why I intend to be a teacher. I am very hard working and willing to accept your terms of working times a day and living on campus, so I think I am suitable for the job.

I look forward to hearing from you.

1. 千万注意格式。称呼要以逗号或冒号结尾;好像忘了署名!

2. I have gained all-round students不是正确说法。如果要表达“三好学生”,那么说法可以是“我多次获得‘三好学生’荣誉/头衔”——I have won the honor/title of all-round student for several times.

3. 注意多项并列情形下,后几项动词形式(容易出错),把possess改为possessed

4. 后面有参考写作的范文,不予以点评。

✿减少对于“硬件”的说明,因为这些内容会附在简历中。你要多说说对工作的理解和为什么选择这所高中而不是其它高中。

评分:7分

来自“幻影”同学

Dear Sir or Madam,

I"m the applicant for position of teacher in your school.

I"m an all-round student, majoring in English. And I think that English is becoming an important mean to get the knowledge from the international. As an English scholar, I consider it is my duty to teach young students English. So when I heard your school need a English teacher, I recommend myself for this job. If my application is approved, I will try my best to work hard.

I am looking forward to your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Ming

1. 肉眼都能看出来字数不够,这样会导致额外扣一分。

2. 正文第一段写得不好。首先不能说the applicant,否则你是什么意思?整个学校就你一个申请者?另外这里用主谓宾结构更好:I am writing to apply for a teaching position of your honored school.

3. I"m an all-round student, majoring in English这样的信息会附在简历中,信件中不用再提。

4. And I think that English is becoming an important mean to get the knowledge from the international.对英语重要性的理解和申请无关。

5. As an English scholar, I consider it is my duty to teach young students English. So when I heard your school need a English teacher, I recommend myself for this job. 空有其表的陈述。不如说说对英语教学的理解,尤其对国际高中英语教学的理解。

评分:3-4分

来自“对方正在输入”同学

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am a college student majoring in English. In this year, I will graduate and am going to apply for career as an English teacher in your international middle school. Here are the crutial things about myself as follow.

As an English major, there are a host of advantages in teaching English. First of all, I am major in education. During the university, I have taken part in speech English contest. What is more, I have vital experiences, participating in an English Summer Camp and doing a part time job in English training school. These are all my precious weath. Finally, I am master in communicating with students.

Please give me a chance to make colleague with you. I am very appreciate with hearing from you soon and I hope it will be a good memory here.

Yours sincerely,

Li Ming

1. I am a college student majoring in English. In this year, I will graduate and am going to apply for career as an English teacher in your international middle school.

这句其中大部分信息会附在简历中,信件中不用再提及。

2. Here are the crutial things about myself as follow.这句是废话,你不觉得吗?

3. As an English major, there are a host of advantages in teaching English.容易招致反感。也许英专学生确实有优势,但不要说出来。事实上,非英语专业的毕业生也很优秀。

4. 中间段列举的一二三都是简历中可以看到的信息。那么你还要简历干嘛?

信件中应该主要写对工作的理解。

5. make colleague with someone不是一个正确的表达。你可以说be/become your college。

评分:6分

【今天打卡任务】

2016年英语(二)图表作文

伟哥和新晋“押王”杨凡达老师的20《考研英语写作最后预测点题班》开班了 599 的课程,共5课时。而今年英语一、二各18次直播课程,各18篇满分范文仅需 99 元。

英语一

英语二

已经购买20《考研英语写作最后预测点题班》的同学请加客服 QQ 2226192031 

提供订单截图等信息验证后,客服会将你拉进学习群内完成督学。督学服务除固定时间答疑、名师空降外,还有打卡背诵等功能。最重要的是,伟哥将在结课后,会抽3位按时参与打卡并学完全部课程的同学,送1000元现金奖学金。阅读原文,了解更多详细。

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99 报名朱伟、杨凡达20《考研英语写作最后预测点题班》

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